he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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