Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
