This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
