I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
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