Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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