is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
you win again, gameday.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
