if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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