Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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