just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize