im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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