i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
