dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
