The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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