i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
