If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
