I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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