going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
