idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
