just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
