Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I am spending my child support on dildos
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
