I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
