i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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