I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
