Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize