This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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