Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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