Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize