yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
