So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
