I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
