I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
