I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize