We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
