Those balls look pretty dangerous.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
