exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
