I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
