You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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