Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
