physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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