i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
