You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Dignity is for republicans.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
