STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
