Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize