i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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