garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
