whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
