Non-Jews are for practice
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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