Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
