this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize