She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
