sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize