Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize