im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize