No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
