we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
