I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Randomize
