I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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