Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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