God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize