That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Randomize
