Dude my mom stole all your condoms
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
So apparently I’m into choking now
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