my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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