I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
