I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Randomize
