before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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