That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
