I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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