I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
worst night to have a conscience
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
