That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
My liver just had a heart attack.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
