I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
