just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Randomize
