i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
