My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Randomize
